Quote for the week
“Forgive yourself for believing in them and getting disappointed. Free yourself from hatred, revenge, and the past.”
Forgive but Never Forget
Forgiving others can be a challenging process, especially when the pain comes from someone close. It’s not just about letting go of resentment but also about managing your emotions and protecting yourself in the future. Here’s a personal story about how I learned to forgive but not forget, involving a coworker who betrayed my trust.
The Story
In my first job after grad school, I was excited to be hired as a Research Associate at a prestigious organization. I was assigned to work with a postgraduate researcher, and I thought it was a great opportunity. We shared ideas, supported each other through tough projects, and even celebrated each other’s successes. I admired his dedication and creativity, and we built a strong professional bond.
One day, I discovered that my coworker had taken credit for an idea I had presented in a meeting. Feeling betrayed and hurt, I didn’t know how to confront him. I remembered an advice, “If they hurt you, forgive them, but never forget what they’ve done.”
I decided to forgive my coworker, hoping it was a one-time mistake. I continued to work with him, albeit more cautiously. But when it happened again, I was devastated. Seeking advice, I spoke to my mentor, who had always been a source of wisdom.
“Does he deserve my forgiveness?” I asked, frustration evident in my voice.
My mentor smiled gently, setting aside the paperwork he was reviewing. “Everyone deserves forgiveness. But if it’s repeated, then it’s time to forgive yourself.” My mentor continued, “Forgive yourself for believing in them and getting disappointed, for trusting too much, for giving another chance, thinking it would be better. Free yourself from hatred, revenge, and the past.”
A few weeks later, I found myself in a similar situation again, but this time I was prepared. My coworker had once more taken credit for my work. I decided it was time to talk to him directly. I calmly addressed the issue, explaining how his actions had affected me and our working relationship.
My coworker apologized sincerely, realizing the gravity of his actions. I accepted the apology but knew I had to be cautious moving forward. I didn’t allow myself to harbor hatred or resentment, as I knew it would only harm my own peace of mind.
Through this experience, I learned that forgiving others is essential, but it’s equally important to remember the lessons learned. Forgiveness doesn’t mean allowing the same behavior to continue; it means letting go of the anger and pain to protect your own well-being.
My dear readers, Forgiveness is a powerful tool that frees you from the burden of resentment. It allows you to move forward without the weight of past hurts. However, not forgetting ensures you learn from your experiences and make better decisions in the future. Handling emotions, especially in professional relationships, requires a balance of compassion and self-protection. Remember, the best way to respond to someone who has hurt you is to live a better life, showing them what they lost and how they inadvertently helped you grow.