Quote for the week
“Parenting doesn’t end when they leave the nest—it evolves. Letting go isn’t about losing them; it’s about trusting in their journey and finding pride in their independence.”
From Worry to Wonder – The Parenting Journey
Letting go of our young adults is a bittersweet experience for many parents. Recently, I visited my daughter, who now lives in a different state, independently managing her life, career, and personal interests. It’s been a year since I helped her move into her new apartment when she started her job. Returning to see how well she has adapted and thrived on her own was heartwarming.
During my visit, I got to know her colleagues and friends, visited her favorite hangouts, explored her grocery stores, and even tagged along to her work and dance rehearsals. I saw how she balanced her work, hobbies, and social life. It gave me a deep sense of pride and reassurance that I had done something right in raising her to be independent and strong enough to navigate the world on her own.
As parents, we often struggle with the concept of “letting go.” From the moment our kids start growing, there’s a subtle, constant shift – more of their time is invested in friends, hobbies, and personal interests. They begin to form beliefs and values that may differ from ours, and we’re faced with the challenge of accepting that they are becoming their own people.
But here’s the real question: Is there pain or pleasure in letting go? Will our bond be broken, or our dreams shattered if we don’t control their every move? The short answer is no. The process of watching our children grow into adulthood, while difficult at times, is ultimately a testament to the love and guidance we’ve provided them. It’s a natural transition, and it’s our role as parents to support them through it, not to hold them back.
Three Common Beliefs Parents Must Let Go Of:
- The Belief in Control: The problem with young adults is that they are, in fact, adults. We must let go of the belief that we can still control their actions. The sooner we give up on the idea that we can shape their lives at every turn, the less emotional suffering we will experience.
- The Responsibility for Their Choices: We often feel responsible for their successes or failures. If our child makes a mistake, we’re quick to wonder if it was our fault. But as adults, they must take responsibility for their own actions. This doesn’t diminish our role in their lives, but it allows us to respect their autonomy.
- The Need to Fix Their Problems: Once we accept that we can’t control their lives and are not responsible for their choices, we must also let go of the instinct to “fix” everything. It’s their journey, and the best we can do is support them through it.
Letting Go of Expectations
Parents often have dreams of their children achieving certain milestones—attending the right schools, pursuing the right career, marrying the right person. But when young adults chart their course, it can diverge from these expectations. As parents, it’s our job to let go of these pre-set plans and allow our children to discover and follow their own paths.
Three Proactive Measures for Parents:
- Invest in Self-Care: It’s easy to make your child’s success your project, but as parents, it’s vital to invest in our own lives and interests. When parents have a rich, fulfilling life outside of their children, it prevents the temptation to micromanage.
- Celebrate Small Wins: Even if your child’s choices aren’t in line with your vision, celebrate their growth and independence. Support their positive momentum, no matter how small, and you’ll reinforce their confidence.
- Pause and Reflect: Finally, take a moment to smile, reflect, and trust that they will be fine. Our job is to guide, not to control, and in doing so, we allow them the space to thrive.
As I said my goodbyes to my daughter, I left with a heart full of pride, a little sadness, and a great sense of hope. Our kids are resilient, capable, and ready for the world—we just have to let them go and trust they’ll succeed.