You Can Do it!
Monday morning reminds us how important it is to choose a job you love. A positive thought in the morning changes your entire day.
Quote for the week
A real conversation always contains an invitation. You are inviting another person to reveal herself or himself to you, to tell you who they are or what they want.
David Whyte
The Art of Conversation: How to Make Every Chat Count
As humans, we are social animals, and we need each other to share our thoughts, bounce off ideas, and sometimes just chat about mundane things. It is very important to develop good conversation skills to be accepted socially. It’s a skill that can be learned and honed over time. It requires a certain level of awareness, empathy, and curiosity.
Whether you are meeting someone for the first time or catching up with an old friend, a great conversation can leave you feeling energized, inspired, and connected. I am sure we have all been in situations where we absolutely loved, were amused, bored, frustrated, or even annoyed in a conversation. So, how can we develop the art of conversation?
Here are some pointers that I have personally learned over time.
- Be present and put your listening ears on: Active listening is one of the most important skills in any conversation. Nothing can be more frustrating than someone taking a phone out to check social media in the middle of a conversation. Active listening also means listening without interrupting or judging. A simple nod, a smile, or asking follow-up questions can build trust, and rapport, and may even allow the other person to share more details. You can also pick up on nonverbal cues, such as facial expressions and body language, and respond appropriately.
- Be empathetic: Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. Never be dismissive or try to minimize their emotions. If you put yourself in their shoes and see things from their perspective, it will help build camaraderie. Acknowledge their emotions and validate their feelings, even if you don’t necessarily agree with them.
- It’s not always about you: Do not equate yourself to the other person. Everyone has a different path and their own hurdles to cross in life. When someone is sharing a point about their kids, do not jump in and start talking about your kids. Get out of “Me, mine, myself” mode and make it about the other person. You may learn a thing or two in the process.
- Dig deep: Framing is key for a deeper conversation. Learn to ask open-ended questions. Use the 5 W’s and one H rule – Who, What, Where, When, Why, and How? You will see the conversation flowing into details and knowledge being shared increasing curiosity and knowledge. Go with the flow and accept your ignorance of the topic. That might actually move the conversation into honest and insightful territories.
- Share your own experiences: Sharing your own experiences can help bring authenticity and sometimes even vulnerability to the conversation. But please spare the details like time, date, year, etc. No one cares. Forget the details and keep it brief and interesting. However, be careful not to dominate the conversation with your own stories. Be aware of the time and space and pick the cues from verbal and nonverbal languages.
- Be respectful and positive: A great conversation should leave both parties feeling uplifted and energized. Avoid negative topics or complaining, and instead, focus on positive aspects of life. Share stories that inspire or make you laugh and try to find common ground with the other person.
In conclusion, having a great conversation is all about being present, empathetic, and engaged. By listening actively, asking open-ended questions, and sharing your own experiences, you can build trust and rapport with others and create meaningful connections. Remember to stay positive and avoid distractions, and you will be well on your way to having a great conversation. Happy chatting!