Quote for the week
“It is not the years in your life but the life in your years that counts.” — Adlai Stevenson
The Existential Dilemma
The Personal Journey: Overcoming Challenges and Finding Purpose
I’ve had many challenging phases in life, and every time I faced a hurdle, I found myself spiraling into a feeling of being lost and unmotivated. Each obstacle felt like a heavy weight, dragging me down into a pit of despair. It took many years of introspection and perseverance to stay positive when things didn’t go my way. I leaned heavily on my husband and close friends, who helped me delve deep into my conscience to navigate these phases. Their unwavering support and my own determination helped me understand that every setback is a setup for a comeback, and every challenge is an opportunity for growth.
This personal struggle with feeling lost and unmotivated mirrors a broader existential dilemma that many people face. Have you ever felt like you have everything you need to be happy, yet find yourself drifting through life feeling empty, invisible, and directionless? Philosophers might call this an existential dilemma, while some might describe it as a midlife crisis. Young people often say they feel adrift. What’s happening in our minds when we feel this way, and what is the remedy for these feelings? Let’s explore the science and solutions for this pervasive sense of emptiness.
The Story of Alex: A Midlife Crisis
Alex was a successful professional, well-respected in his field, with a loving family and a comfortable lifestyle. By all outward appearances, he had it all. Yet, as he approached his 45th birthday, Alex felt increasingly dissatisfied with his life. He began to question his purpose and felt a gnawing sense of emptiness.
One evening, after a particularly tough day at work, Alex sat alone in his study, thinking about his life. Despite his accomplishments, he felt like he was merely going through the motions. His once-passionate love for his career had dwindled to a sense of obligation. He had lost touch with old friends, and his hobbies had fallen by the wayside.
“Is this it?” he wondered. “Is this all there is to life?”
The Young and Restless: Emily’s Story
Emily, a bright and ambitious 25-year-old, found herself in a similar situation, albeit at a different stage in life. She had graduated with honors, landed a great job, and had a supportive circle of friends. Yet, Emily felt unfulfilled and directionless. Despite her achievements, she felt like she was floating through life without a clear purpose.
At night, Emily would scroll through social media, comparing herself to others who seemed to have it all figured out. The more she compared, the more lost she felt. Her dreams of traveling the world and pursuing her passions felt like distant fantasies, buried under the weight of societal expectations and the daily grind.
Understanding the Dilemma
Both Alex and Emily were experiencing what many people go through at different stages of life: an existential dilemma. Despite having all the external markers of success and happiness, they felt an internal void. This feeling is often rooted in a lack of connection to one’s deeper purpose and values.
Psychological Factors: Research suggests that when individuals lose sight of their core values and passions, they are more likely to experience feelings of emptiness and dissatisfaction. This can happen when people prioritize external achievements over internal fulfillment.
Social Comparisons: Constant comparison with others can exacerbate feelings of inadequacy and purposelessness. Social media often portrays an idealized version of life, making people feel like they’re falling short.
Routine and Stagnation: Falling into a monotonous routine can make life feel stagnant. When there’s no novelty or growth, it’s easy to feel stuck and directionless.
Finding the Remedy
Reconnecting with Values: One of the most effective ways to combat existential emptiness is to reconnect with your core values. For Alex, this meant revisiting why he chose his career in the first place. He remembered his passion for helping others and started volunteering at a local charity, which reignited his sense of purpose.
Setting New Goals: Setting new, meaningful goals can provide direction. Emily decided to make a bucket list of things she wanted to achieve. She set small, manageable goals like learning a new language and taking a solo trip. These goals gave her something to look forward to and a sense of accomplishment.
Mindfulness and Reflection: Practicing mindfulness and taking time for self-reflection can help you understand your feelings and reconnect with your inner self. Alex started journaling his thoughts and emotions, which helped him gain clarity on what truly mattered to him.
Seeking Support: Talking to a therapist or counselor can provide valuable insights and strategies for dealing with existential dilemmas. Both Alex and Emily found that discussing their feelings with a professional helped them navigate their internal struggles.
Living a good life means different things to different people. For some, it might mean traveling the world, starting a family, or finding that dream job. Ultimately, we all seek a life that feels rich, fulfilling, and joyful. By reconnecting with our core values, setting meaningful goals, practicing mindfulness, and seeking support, we can find our way out of the existential maze and start living a life that truly resonates with our deepest selves.
As you sip your coffee this Monday morning, take a moment to reflect on what truly makes your life rich and fulfilling. Remember, it’s never too late to find your purpose and start living the life you’ve always dreamed of.